Abuse Poem – I’m going back to him by Leah Cohen

I’m going back to him, she says
Her face and body, black and blue
So puffed, she’s like a blimp
‘You know I’m going back’
the only reason that he’s jailed is that he’s Black

(‘and not because  he beat you to a pulp with just his feet,’
I tell myself, but know my words to her will be unheard).

‘I love him. Every bit of him’ she says
You’ll never understand, the way I do, his ways
He gives me every single part of him
his anger and his grief, he shares
he knows that I’m the only one who cares
I’m going back to him’ she says,
‘You know I’m going back’

She sticks her mobile phone right in my face
‘This’ she says, ‘- my freedom pass to leave this place
you think you’ll keep me here with all your talk
I’m leaving here as soon as I can go walk
I know where I belong. I know he’s mine
Our souls are one. You know, they’re intertwined

You’ll never understand. You’ll never know.
You think this is a safe house. Safe from life
From grief and anger and the tears of strife

Don’t you know that’s what our lives are woven of
Not all the crud you whimpering souls describe as love
He comes to me in need. I’m there for him
You think you’re right and that my situation’s grim

I said you’ll never understand my need
I’m going back to him to plant his seed
Oh yes, he will be father to my child
No. My concussion hasn’t left me wild
He’s mine. My man. My love. My one desire
He clocks my heart with his. He is my fire.

You want to cure me? Make me feel my worth?
Don’t bother. There is nothing to unearth
Your World’s so pure and polished. Look at you
Dressed to the hilt. You’ve nothing else to do
but volunteer your time. What crime
It’s me, you fool, that’s free – not you
you’ll never leave the confines of this zoo!

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