Drawing with light by Samantha Hunt

I’d like to begin by
telling you a story,
Once told me to me.
In the lifeless dark, my Mother would
hold my hands.
who shushed children the children
without stories of their own/
to sleep.
The fairy was a selkie,
a seal woman who’d
had her skin stolen by
the fishermen
and ghosted the sea
for her lost children.
She’d risen from their imaginations/
Those vicious dreams, and sung
as they lay mute
against the pillows,
she’d take their nightmares,
and fasten them to her dress/ until it breathed
tears / and her dress grew heavy, heavy
and heavier still with all of the troubles/
It heaved with troubles/
And she’d carried them to the sea/
ready to throw each and every one
in to the blue….

This has been coming for a long time.
Last Summer, I’d sat on the
porch of the holiday house,
and listened to the sea.
There was a fierce blue
Beyond all of that vapid dark
It felt as though
It could get/could fall
Right in to the skin.
Some opaque weight
That came close, close and closer still-
In that muggy night
the moon pulled itself up
Then hung from the window by threads.
The blue wrapped its
knuckles around my fingers.
My thoughts turned in to/
fierce blue waves.
Silent visitors/
That crawled on sedimented
beds of day dreams.
The sky, water.
It was all a net
I was pulled in by strings.
Everything was blue, bitter blue.
The kind of blue that made me glad to
be alive.
Those waves shivered
across the back of my neck/
in to my synapses.
A deep swell burrowed under my fingernails,
and dripped on to each nerve.
In the confusion, love was palpable, tender.
It just wont stop/
It just wont stop.
Blue had fizzled on my flesh, until
It fell apart bit by bit.
I was stunned by the callous blue mist,
like the abyss of a winter morning.
It dragged me/
to the edge of my skin/
pulled me out/
bones and all.
I’d let the blue permeate my body/
It had desecrated-
I’d opened my lips-
but something inside had split.
Silence  flexed around
me like curtain wire.
My words hung from
a beautifully grotesque hook.
I’d twisted
the blue around my contorted fists.
it just won’t stop/
it just won’t stop/
In that Summer evening
the blue
had gushed between
my fingers.
A pulse in stops and starts.
I’d needed water
To cool the vicious fever.
That blue was a/
brutal caress.
It’s not going to stop/
it’s not going to stop/
Skin. Skin was all that I had
A sugar paper quilt,
A translucent defence against the light/
Oh, the light. The light.
A warning siren against a peculiar night.
I’d turned my face toward the sky-
and watched a paper chain of dolls
that glimmered in the blue.
They held each other/
and danced.
Their flesh was a corpse
like membrane.
I’d seen through
to their blue smudged hearts-
It dripped like ink/
drip/ drip/ drip-
It’s not going to stop/
it’s not going to stop/
so just give up.
I’d said no no no no no
Don’t bring that blue close-
Don’t let it in, don’t-
I’d pushed against the air with my hands.
No no no no no no
I’d tried to
speak/ without talking
cry without weeping/
scream without raising my voice.
Everything was blue,
fierce blue.
The kind of blue that
made me glad to be –
I’d been a child at
The edge of the sea,
I hadn’t cried.
It had pulled me out/
through my skin/
bones and all.
Still, I’d taken those stories/
Still/ I’d squeezed them/
between my palms
and exhaled the cries
as my own.

4 thoughts on “Drawing with light by Samantha Hunt

  1. Pingback: at half-mast | debasis mukhopadhyay

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