Abuse Of Power by Des Mannay

Why do you carry on as normal?
Respectable life – everything formal

After what you did to me
Recurring nightmares – can’t break free.

What did I do to deserve your attention?
‘Special’ games too sick to mention.

Are you so blind you cannot see
The damage you did – emotionally?

You never once apologized
Now all affection is despised

My body just an empty shell
Going through a private hell

Breaking down the wall of trust
To satisfy a teenage thrust

All your weaknesses restyled
To take advantage of younger child

To sample things you couldn’t get
– In later life I can’t forget.

I learned to hate the way you loved
The iron fist : the velvet glove

The world collapsed in yesterday
I never grew or learnt to play

I hid myself away instead
And wished that I could wake up dead

The tears still flow from an age ago
What I did wrong I still don’t know

I wasn’t ready for sexual pleasure
To be abused at your leisure

Skeletons in cupboards try to hide –
Its me thats bloody crucified

They say that blood is thicker than water
Mine congealed in innocence slaughter

How come you came out on top?
Whilst my self torture doesn’t stop

I cry myself to sleep at night,
And give up on all future fight

Your life goes on without a hitch
My nerves have gone – I stammer and twitch

I withdrew from old nature’s game
And drink a lot to keep myself sane

If I were to ‘copycat’ my abuse,
Would this explanation be much use?

How come I paid for your insecurity
With the money and the fags, you threw as a lure at me?

Incest is a dirty word,
A crime unseen a crime unheard