To a Lib-Dem Candidate by Des Mannay

If you knock on the door for my vote
I’ll shake you warmly – by the throat

Your about as child friendly as the late Cyril Smith
With sex scandals and cover ups, ain’t there a whiff?

Mike Hancock, Mark Oaten and Lord Rennard
And Paddy – is keeping your pants on so hard?

Is it bullshit I’m smelling or hypocrisy?
And last time you said you’d scrap tuition fees…

You all live on a yellow submarine
You’ll soon sink without trace – nowhere to be seen

Except the odd enclave where you may hold out
Where voters are gluttons for punishment no doubt

And what’s that daft bird symbol supposed to be?
Looks more like an Albatross than a Phoenix to me

Next time use a Dodo or something else extinct
Then maybe the voters might just see the link

I don’t mean to taunt you – I don’t mean to be mean
But you all live in a yellow glum machine

I met a candidate – seemed like a nice chap
Till I told him I thought that the Lib-Dems were crap

“We’ll still be king makers in Parliament”, he said
What – the place that gained power by chopping off a king’s head?

He said a hung Parliament – that was his hope.
I want a hung Parliament too – done with rope!

Coz that’s not where the power to change things resides
That’s in the streets and the protests outside….