If words were seeds (growing under my skin) by Jodie Rose McLouglin

Your digital footprint brands me
When I ask myself questions
to which there are no answers.

All I see is your name
Your very essence
and spirit
captured in your words
For eternity

You planted a seed under my skin
Which blossomed into a beautiful flower,
requiring nurture,
empathy and so
many words

Always words
Of comfort
caring and verbal jousts.

Not realising that I was battling a part of myself.
A mirror of traits reflected.
Much smarter than me
A life lived harder than mine.
Yet still you shone and stood out
with vibrancy and light.

Wisdom beyond your years you handed me
But oh my dear one how you branded me!
Got under my skin
and seared my soul.

With your beautifully tragic words.
I shall never forget
What you have taught me and how you made me feel.
Raw and exposed
But always genuine and real.

Loved and hated
Needed and simultaneously  unwanted
Rejected and equally, respected…
but it was never really about me.
I did all I could

I am sorry if I ever hurt you with my verbosity
I tried,
to understand,
to empathise and to simply BE
a friend.

Towards the end
I loved you
I’m not afraid or ashamed to admit it.
I hope you knew what you meant to us all
and how you touched our lives.

From one ‘pain in the arse’ to another!
I say, finally be at peace.
No one can hurt you now
Anymore (including me).

Rest safely now where the Angels reside.
Agnostics such as I do not pray,
Yet today I wish and will it with every piece of my heart…..
That you are suffering no more.
That you were able to stay….

With us, your work and your beloved child
Your legacy lives on and
friendship never truly dies.

I wish I could have done more for you
but in the end all I had to give were my useless words

Under my skin
Growing from my heart.
You’ll always be a part of my life.

I shall never forget you special, talented, beautiful one.
If words were seeds
growing under my
then you were my sunlight and water.

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