Silent Scream by Panda Devon

It started but then it stopped
I feel it but it won’t come out
Reaching all the way to my pubis
A body-length cork
A howl of a scream
Yet silent

A lifetime’s worth
Loud and long
Into the air
But silent
A silent howl
My silent scream
Trapped gas
Trapped pain
But not realised
Not released
In pain
My lifetime’s worth
My lifetime’s work
The silence of my silent scream
My grief
My G
My R
My I
My E
My F
Will it
The silent death
Of my silent scream
My death
No footprint
Not born
Dampened down
Before emergence
Embryonic me
Never me
No me
What is me?
Who is a me?

What is an I?

Was there an I?
How many I’s were there?
My I
My lifetime
A life of a silent scream
I acknowledge it’s there
Ripping me apart
It is there but it’s shy
It didn’t emerge
It won’t emerge
It doesn’t know how
Or if it’s “allowed”
Until it does, neither can I
The emergence of my silent scream
The emergence of me
In my Emergency.

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