The SS Call by Marc Woodward

Good morning. We’re from the FSS.
The Federal Sensitivity Service.
Mr Blake? Do you mind if we come in?
Great home you have – a real writer’s pad.
Shall I remove my boots? They’re a bit bloody…
Ha, just kidding Bill!  Can I call you Bill?

We understand you’re a poet?
And you’ve written about the President?
“Scrawling on the Mexican wall.”  Funny.
We’ve seen the poem. It’s awful by the way.
Everyone says so. We have critics who know.
English teachers, lecturers, the best guys.

Now we’re all for free speech you understand.
But you’d agree it’s not good to offend?
Those Minorities: The gays, blacks, cripples…
They get hurt easy. You wouldn’t hurt them –
you’re a sensitive kinda guy we know.
A real Californian snowflake. Yeah?

The President is sensitive too. He gets hurt.
How many presidents are there? Just one.
Now that’s a true minority. Poor man.
So he’s asked us to talk poetry with you.
Love. Nature. Kittens. All really good subjects.

The President? Not such a good subject.
My colleague and I are gonna help you
with your editing. Is that your Mac?
Nice piece of kit. Mind if I do some work?
I type with a bat. You’ll enjoy watching.
Thumper (cute name eh?) is gonna edit
your mindset. You’ll enjoy that less I’m afraid.