Already too much trauma in my life
Past and current
And now I remember the why’s that I asked through secondary school
The why’s I wondered in day nightmares outside my class room window
The why’s that made me deaf to my teachers words which paled into insignificance in my life.
I wished I wasn’t there
I wished I had seen her, been with her at that time
And I wished and wondered for decades.
Now I am wishing and wondering again
Another life taken too soon
And why the one who loved me the most?
Who I did love a little more
And who was a best friend.
I can’t stop the replay of sound
The body, the blood
The sound of acceleration
The intense nausea
That won’t stop.