PTSD: Hit and Run by Frances Smith

Already too much trauma in my life
Past and current
And now I remember the why’s that I asked through secondary school
The why’s I wondered in day nightmares outside my class room window
The why’s that made me deaf to my teachers words which paled into insignificance in my life.
I wished I wasn’t there
I wished I had seen her,  been with her at that time
And I wished and wondered for decades.

Now I am wishing and wondering again
Another life taken too soon
And why the one who loved me the most?
Who I did love a little more
And who was a best friend.

I can’t stop the replay of sound
The thud
The body,  the blood
The sound of acceleration
The intense nausea
The indigestion
The realisation

That won’t stop.

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