Jesus was an Incel, by Tom Sinclair

And John Cleese is full of shit
Because on a TV interview he said you couldn’t make Jesus funny
Because he said a lot of good bits
(Yes, it’s really great if you want to condition people to slavery)
And so the Pythons invented Brian Cohen
The rape (at first) child of a Jewish sex worker
And a Roman Soldier
They chose the Jews just like Hitler, and a white beetle paid for it
(George Harrison)
Just to make a ‘funny’ flick
The Catholic church condemned it
Even though they weren’t it’s real target
So Cleese wailed that they didn’t get it
And the priest/bishop/whatever said it was tenth rate shit
Just like Morrissey went from working class, to Vegan Right wing Prick
Cleese found his Anti-Semite stride, and Terry Jones directed it
It mocked the unions, and trans rights too
And remember the Alt right say nothings too taboo
Like saying the age of consent is “case by case” from 11 years and up
(Carl Benjamin UKIP)
These guys were my heroes growing up
Because I was a confrimed atheist at eight, and I had faith that most religion was full of shit
But I value kindness and acceptance in others
So I try and get down with that a little bit
And I talked to a God in a field once (myself), and it (I) didn’t want me on my knees
The sky simply rolled up into a cylinder and went directly into my third eye (forehead really)
And that night I thought I could do magic
I really turned the lights in buildings on and off from across the way a bit (prove that I did not)
I also made my phone disappear
(Finally once and for all by throwing it into a random garden in Wrexham)
The weirdest thing is someone later found it and it got back to me, and that never happens
And when the God-thing(still me) re-entered my head the best thing was it showed me a joke
Because harmless kind humour like Jerry Seinfeld’s, or Larry David’s is this worlds greatest gift
The punchline was simply this
Or symbols and feelings to that effect (You can say anything like to yourself it can only hurt you)
And when I happened upon two nuns, and spoke of my revelation one cried, for she knew it true
But they wouldn’t let me in their church, and so left me at the gates
And I’m not a communist either before you wonder
I’m a social anarchist
I believe that everyone is equal
and equally responsible for all of it
But I’ve started to hate most white people quite a lot if I’m honest
And Jesus preached love but never got any if you believe the bible
Not even a bit of sneaky bum loving
33 years a complete virgin to honour his poor mum Mary Sue
What is it with religion and ‘purity’
Maybe that’s why the priesthood likes them young
And I’m sorry that happened to you Milo
But why you keep banging on about black dick? Because you can have a fetish and still be racist You arrogant facist prick;
The S.S officers loved raping the Jewish women in the concentration camps
Because hate sex is the incel flipside of make up sex
And people love to moan on about Muslims
I get it, there’s much that can be said on that topic, but I’ll leave it you lot who love it better
Than a sane man ever should
Because I’m a proud to be a white traitor
And today is day 3 of my Elm Park resistance
On this day I untied one of Jodie’s purples ribbons, not out of disrespect for a young life lost
But one girl died and white people tied hundreds of ribbons on public land
To be left undesecrated, unlike a Native American burial ground
and simply left them there
She wasn’t killed by a black boy, but the other four stabbed boys this year were black
Where are their ribbons my compassionate neighbours? Or don’t you really give a fuck?
Why does nobody stop and stare at Jodie’s ribbons? I’ve never seen anyone tie another since
Or maybe just take a moment to remember her, place some flowers or shed a tear
No they are just a desperate grasp at one white life matters more than blacks
And I think it’s time to let Jodie be laid to rest
Not let her be another innocent pawn in this game of fatal chess
Every day I’ll untie another one
partly because I never tied a ribbon for Jodie Chesney upon her death
But I’ll make sure there all undone one by one
Because altogether their bigger than the holocaust memorial
Planned to go up in London near parliament that’s causing quite a stir
And Justice is in place for Jodie now, four suspects already arrested, two others released
When a black boys dies it never makes the news the very next day any more
Brilliantly George Lucas made Darth Vader a beautiful black men
And didn’t tell
That his voice would be replaced by the majestic black American
James Earl Jones
And in my favourite moment of this most favourite of films
Darth tells Luke he is his father, and as a Jedi he knows it to be true
So he screams in disbelief from the revelation this means he might just be mixed race
I mean he just lost his hand from a light sabre strike
But this makes this white ‘freedom’ fighter really lose his shit
You’d think he’d be happy to have a dad
But we all know he hoped it would have been old Ben Kenobi
Who jumps in line when the Monarchy call after all those years in the wildness
Trying to leave in peace, but hating the natives for their wild virile nature
He’s a tired old white man, who hung on to Darth’s original Saber
Out of sadness for a friendship lost in the mindfuck of dark and light
Thanks to star wars I don’t believe in good and evil
I saw all the greyness in it
I loved Darth Vader
And thought Luke Skywalker was a proper little prick
Look at the way he runs to his Majesty Princess Leia
Incel incest on his mind
Like a proper little bootlicker
His family barely cold
In the ground

I know how all this must sound
But it’s not as crazy as half the shit I’ve found